Church Blog

Finding the Right Questions

Bob Buchanan sent in this story about his interaction with someone he met at a karate tournament. It’s so encouraging to hear how the Lord can use our humble efforts at reaching out to others:

Finding the right questions to start a conversation can be pretty easy when you’re hanging out with good friends or family members, but what about folks you don’t know so well? And what if it’s someone that you have a very clear difference of opinion with or you find hard to be around?

In January I competed in a full-contact (no pads/gloves) karate tournament.  I was able to compete against a former World Heavyweight Champion who, for the length of the fight (and a little while after) I viewed as an obstacle and an enemy.  This guy was good.  He beat me (thoroughly), left me limping for a few days, cracked one of my ribs, and left my legs and chest black and blue.  I learned a lot from his style and wanted to learn more.  I knew though, that if I didn’t try to befriend him that evening, I probably wouldn’t have an opportunity to speak with him for another year.

So, beaten and bruised, I made my way over and introduced myself, saying, “I hope you win another world championship this year.”  He responded that this year looked unlikely because of a “family issue.” 

Normally I would have backed off, but I figured this guy owed me something since I’d allowed him to use me as a human punching bag! So I asked some questions and found out that his wife had been recently diagnosed with Stage Two breast cancer and would be starting another round of treatment soon.  That conversation spilled over into e-mails and Facebook conversations over the next week or two, and I’ve since been able to learn a lot about this guy. Several opportunities have opened up for me to share how my faith impacts the way I try to love my wife, work faithfully in my vocation, and train in the martial way. It’s almost as if we reached a certain momentum, and the words just began to flow.

People will open up and talk to you. Often, they’re even eager. All you have to do is find the right questions. These interactions have helped me to see that once you get the ball rolling, it gets so much easier.